My Leadership Icks: 11 Habits We Need to Let Go Of (Before I Spontaneously Combust)

We’ve all seen them. Some are subtle. Some are everywhere. None of them belong in great leadership.

Over the years, as a coach, psychologist, employee, and human who cringes just like you, I’ve collected a list of leadership behaviours that make me wince. Some are outdated habits. Others are well-intentioned missteps. A few are still being glorified (unfortunately).

So here they are - my top 11 leadership icks. The habits we need to leave behind if we’re serious about building strong cultures and high-performing teams.

1. Claiming the wins and flinging the blame like confetti - Real leaders share both the spotlight and the accountability.

2. Your door’s open, but your vibe screams ‘enter at your own risk’ - If people don’t feel safe speaking up, your policy is pointless.

3. Expecting people will follow you, without investing in the relationship - Leadership is influence, not authority.

4. Calling your team a family - This isn’t a family. It’s a workplace. Drop the guilt trips and fuzzy boundaries. High-performing teams run on clarity, standards, and respect, not forced closeness or emotional debt.

5. Performance conversations once per year… with no culture of feedback in between - That’s like planting a seed, doing nothing, and checking on it a year later. Newsflash: it’s dead.

6. Asking for feedback but getting defensive the moment it’s not glowing - You want honesty? Make it safe to give.

7. Assuming people understood the message because you said it once in a packed meeting - They were probably too overwhelmed, or too polite, to admit they were lost.

8. Praising accidental success, but ignoring (or worse, reprimanding) thoughtful failure - Congrats, you just taught your team to play it safe.

9. Confusing busyness with performance - ‘Always on’ is not the same as ‘high impact.’

10. Treating your role like a privilege, not a responsibility - Leadership isn’t something you get — it’s something you give.

11. Tolerating brilliant d**kheads - If they’re ‘too valuable to lose’, your culture already has.

We’re here to help…

If any of these icks resonate with you, because you see them in your workplace or (no shame here) know you are guilty of one or two, we are here to help. Our leadership fitness programs are designed to take you and your team from leadership ick to leadership fit. Contact us today.